Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet
The Kingdom of Var
Directed by Nicholas Kleban
Skeletonization Films
81 minutes, 2020
Man, I love indie cinema. Sometimes a premise comes up that is so…out there, that you have almost no choice but to say, “Well, okay, I guess,” and go with it. This directorial debut for Nicholas Kleban has unleashed just such a film, shot in Stoney Creek, just east of Hamilton, Ontario.
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| Vida Zukauskua and Stephen Ingram |
Apparently, there was/is a sorcerer named Var (Shawn Van Every; the character’s name is a reference to E. Varelli from Dario Argento's 1980 film, Inferno) who, in 1594, managed to magically bring back some film equipment from the future to show an incantation, and then place it on a VHS. And anyone who watches this tape will bring Var back to life. Never mind that video tape dries out and breaks down after a while, but if you’re dealing with sorcerers and incantations, well, I guess anything is possible. Oh, wait, that’s right, we really need to throw logic out the window and just let the story roll over us as it comes in a major suspension of disbelief (SoD) in this case. But is that any less true of most horror films or creature features? Get over it!
Mucking around in her rented house’s basement, tall, stiff and model-thin Sonja Fitzgerald (Vida Zukauskas), finds said VHS titled “1594” (the shooting title of this film, by-the-by) and plays it. Before you can say The Ring(u) or creepy pasta (hey, that’s what we used to call our neighbor’s lasagna!), odd things are happening to our heroine.
Meanwhile, along the way, she is the target of the sexually obsessed and bad-toothed (dental appliance) InCel security guard (Mark Brombacher) and catches the eye of a creepy love interest, Kyle (Stephen Ingram), who’s sexual pressuring and slew of angry exes doesn’t seem to be a red flag to Sonja. He also obviously has numerous addiction issues.
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| Shawn Van Every |
Through all that is happening, apart from a few screams here and there, life seems to go on with Sonja, despite the perv and her… boyfriend? She’ll get fearful and scared in one scene, and then act normal in the next. This is some bizarre writing, but… SoD it.
It takes a while for the film to hit its stride, but it’s worth the wait as the cannibal followers of Var start popping up, giving a jolt to the gore factor. Many of the body parts looks kind of rubbery, keeping consistent with everything else, but some of the effects actually look really good, and congrats for that.
The story is somewhat simplistic on one hand, but has a nice catch at the end that took me by surprise, answering a question I had earlier on in the story. It’s a bit all over the place, and other than our feckless heroine, nearly none of the other people in her life – boyfriend, best friend Ashley (Sarah Sweird), other friend Danielle (Madison Graves, akaMadi Violet Graves) and her physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend Morgan (Matthew Sears) – are really worth a damn to her (pun intended).
This film has very strong influences of classics that have gone on before, such as a couple of homages to The Wizard of Gore (1970) in the form of Ghorghoulia the Magnificent (Lars Classington), and the aforementioned Ringu. There is another, but it is too big a plot point to divulge and would give away the a-ha moment.
There really is no other way to describe the acting and line reading other than horrendous, achieving the level of The Room (2003; also Canadian, FYI). Actors pretty consistently fumble with their lines, or their eyes keep darting to the sides of the camera like there are cue cards there. But don’t disparage; if you’re like me, stuff like this is a draw rather than a hindrance, because it takes a film to a different level than the usual same-old-same-old. I was both smiling and saying WTFat the same time due to the sheer consistency of the flubbing. The fact that it was shot in only 13 days with a micro-budget, I’m happy to be seeing the completed project at all. The crew definitely managed to stretch the buck to get the most they could.
A major running theme in the film has to do with belief systems. Sonja is a non-believer in the supernatural (though I don’t think the word “atheist” is ever employed), though of course as mystical things keep happening, I wonder if that will change (yes, I already know). I do wonder, though, if Var is merely a sorcerer, or is he also a demon? Certainly he’s demonic.
When Sonja is in full, open-mouth scream mode, which she does often, it looked familiar and I couldn’t place it. Then I got it and smiled deeply: it looks straight out of the iconic ending of Sleepaway Camp (1983). I don’t think it was necessarily done on purpose, but it warmed my heart. When you watch it, let me know if you agree.
The Kingdom of Var trailer HERE.